Update!

First off, I do apologize for the lack of posts in the past... WOAH .... four months. O.O "Life happened," and then, to tell you the truth, I went through a very confusing time that was also void of any good inspiration for a new post. But I am back, or so I hope to be, and finished making excuses [for now]. :)

So, for a couple weeks I've been telling myself that I MUST write a new post...that slowly turned into, I MUST write a filler post...which has now turned into this, a quick update of little or no consequence. >_> I do have a few topics that will hopefully become subjects for posts in the next few weeks. If you know me, hold me to that, will you? Thanks.

Here are some of the general topics (in case you're interested):
Worth- how we view ourselves and may allow doubts regarding our worthiness of His plans for us to creep in.
Christmas Ornaments & Tennis Balls - (I'm going to leave it at that. Maybe you'll be curious enough to check here later to find out what in the world I'm thinking ;)
Love - The Greatest Commandment...the Greatest Gift.

In regards to my last post, the four month old one, my summer finished out very nicely. I had a wonderful time at both camps and saw many lives changed forever. God most certainly had some amazing things in store for us when we arrived.

Youth camp was a much needed time to stop and re-sort my brain, and my heart. While my mindset going into the week wasn't the greatest, as predicted, the week was an awesome experience and time of growing closer to God. One of the things He impressed on me while I was there was my eagerness or tendancy to rebuild walls that He had torn down -Walls within my heart that had hindered my relationship with Him.

Galations 2:18 - "For if I build again those things which I have destroyed, I make myself a transgressor."

Those words pounded me one morning, during our personal devotion time. I am not and never will be strong enough to tear down those walls myself. But when I asked Him to, and He did, it's as if I turned right around and scrambled to put them back up. In that section of Galations, Paul had just finished talking about how no sin is greater than another, they are all on an equally abominable level. And while I was earnestly seeking Him out, and pleading for Him to cleanse me, and help me grow stronger, I was still sitting there rebuilding walls, making myself a transgressor. That morning, one of the things I wrote was "If my goal is to truly give Him my undivided attention, that's not possible with a brick wall blocking my view."

I also had a bit a of a slap across the face when it comes to how I see myself. Completely unworthy...of anything and everything. While that's true and it's only by God's grace that we are saved, I was allowing that feeling of being "disposable" or worthless to overwhelm me. I struggled with the idea that I was a shame to Him, becoming blind to how He had used me so many times and given me opportunities, wrapped me in love. For some reason, this is still a struggle every once in a while, but the words of Hebrews 11:6 & 16, along with much prayer and encouragement have reminded me that God does have a plan specifically for me, for each of His children. These plans are bound by a goal of glorifying Him, but unique to each of us and our relationships with Him.

Hebrews 11:
6 - "But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that he is, and that He is a rewarder of those who dilligently seek Him."
16 - "But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them."

Every morning, there was an early group prayer time. But after a while we would go off separately to spend some one on one time with our Master. During one of these times, He brought to my attention something that had been going on all week, and can still happen every day. It had been raining every morning all week long, and on that particular morning, it was more like deluge. As I sat there under the pavillion, I realized how God was so ready to pour on us. As if the roof of the pavillion didn't exist, He wasn't just ready to drizzle on us... but to POUR. And as we sat there, claiming to be equally as ready for Him to do so, it was like we each had umbrellas; umbrellas to sheild us and stop us from feeling His rain. It's high time to toss out your spiritual umbrella.

At the end of the week, I stumbled across Ezekiel 2 & 3. A section that God used as a final word of encouragement to those who I shared it with and me.
2:6 - "And you son of man, do not be afraid of them, nor be afraid of their words, though briers and thorns are with you and you dwell among scorpions, do not be afraid of their words or dismayed by their looks, though they are a rebellious house."
3:10 - "Moreover He said to me; "Son of man receive into your heart all my words that I speak to you, and hear with your ears. And go get to the captives, to the children of your people, and speak to them and tell them 'Thus says the Lord God,' whether they hear or whether they refuse."

The following week of Kids camp was one of the best ever, in my opinion. Although, I've only been to a few years. It was a well focused week of learning and encouraging some kids who come from some pretty rough households. A humbling experience as well, to see them excited about serving God, regardless of some unbelievable circumstances in their home life. I was privileged to see many of them baptized and drawing nearer to Him.

As for the rest of my summer... well, it was eventful. We took an emergency trip to AR at the end of August, and I discovered that am by no means made for life in the south. Not to mention the fact that AR is quite possibly one of the ugliest states, even by the standards of its residents. It was a nice and long overdue visit with some family, however, so I guess it was worth it. ;)

So, there is at least a re-cap of my summer. Yes, I realize it is now December and that leaves quite a gap in the calendar, but do you really want to know any more boring details? I thought not. But be aware that I adore the Autumn season and I am still reminiscing over it's various successes this year. :)



Until later,

~
"Lord, blow the coal, thy love enflame in me."