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Monday, July 12, 2010

A conglameration of thoughts.

Alright, this post isn't going to be overly formal. I suppose that's laziness on my part...but I'm also feeling the last of my time at home slip away... Yes, it's that time of the summer. Everyone seems to be going off to camp or vacation and well, it's my turn. I'll be gone for most of the next two weeks, so I thought I'd at least try to put SOMETHING on here for during my absense. :)

First, I'm finally starting to look forward to camp. That may sound completely ungrateful, but it's true. My way was paid for anonymously; therefore, I was sortof commited to going. It was definitely a blessing and God most certainly was good to me. Plus, the only other girl in our church that is going, is going for the first time to teen camp; and I'd hate to leave her in the lurch. Seriously, the girls in that family have been looking forward to it ALL YEAR. They came to me excitedly about five months ago, asking if I planned on going. xD But it's great to see them so excited...and for the RIGHT reasons.

Camp is always an AMAZING time with God. A great environment to forget everything else and just focus on Him, give Him my undivided attention. But there are two main things about it that have always bothered me. 1)Drama. Endless and (suprisingly) highly sought after DRAMA. Even if you're not caught in the middle of it, it just seems to put a damper on everything. [I have a post that I've been writing and tweaking for a long time now on the subject...problem is, it resembles a rant more than anything. Comment if you think I ought to post it anyway, because I'm undecided.]
2)"The camp experience"....yeah, it's the fever that everyone gets after having a great week depending and focusing on God. Everybody comes back home and for two, maybe three weeks, they're on fire for God. But then, it starts to dwindle, and after a while standards start to decrease and once again we're back at that "low point" where God's shoved off into the sidelines. I've feared and hated that fever ever since my first year of camp. It just seems like we're being so deceptive to God. I mean, obviously He sees our hearts and knows what's going on, but meh... It's just grrrr.... So anyway, my goal is and has been to "get real" with God; any prayers that I could keep my eyes on Him during the week would be greatly appreciated. :)

Despite those two things...like I said, I'm getting excited. God is so ready to burst forth into Jess's life and I can see that. I feel really priveleged to be going with her see what awesomeness God has in store. ;)

Ah yes, there was one last thing I wanted to mention. Last night I was reading in Lamentations. I just really wanted to share the chapter with you because it really touched and encouraged me, hopefully it does the same for you. It reminded me of how much He really loves and adores us. Reading it was like getting a big warm fatherly hug from Him. It talks about God's wrath when we rebel against Him, but then Jeremiah recalls the time when he was in persecution and affliction. He CRIED out like a frightened child at night, and God soothingly answered... "Do not fear!"
I recently went through a situation where I was reminded that I can truly depend on God, I was forced to look to Him alone for support...and it definately changed my outlook on my relationship with Him. The really interesting part to me is that I read Jeremiah 26-29 and it was just like everything in there was exactly how I felt. The verses in lamentations (starting w/55) look to me like Jeremiah is recalling that specific time and remembering how great and merciful God is.

He cares, He knows, He's there...and ready to answer.

I know it's kindof long, but do enjoy it. ;)

1 I am the man who has seen affliction by the rod of His wrath.
2 He has led me and made me walk
In darkness and not in light.
3 Surely He has turned His hand against me
Time and time again throughout the day.
4 He has aged my flesh and my skin,
And broken my bones.
5 He has besieged me
And surrounded me with bitterness and woe.
6 He has set me in dark places
Like the dead of long ago.
7 He has hedged me in so that I cannot get out;
He has made my chain heavy.
8 Even when I cry and shout,
He shuts out my prayer.
9 He has blocked my ways with hewn stone;
He has made my paths crooked.
10 He has been to me a bear lying in wait,
Like a lion in ambush.
11 He has turned aside my ways and torn me in pieces;
He has made me desolate.
12 He has bent His bow
And set me up as a target for the arrow.
13 He has caused the arrows of His quiver
To pierce my loins.
14 I have become the ridicule of all my people—
Their taunting song all the day.
15 He has filled me with bitterness,
He has made me drink wormwood.
16 He has also broken my teeth with gravel,
And covered me with ashes.
17 You have moved my soul far from peace;
I have forgotten prosperity.
18 And I said, “My strength and my hope
Have perished from the LORD.”
19 Remember my affliction and roaming,
The wormwood and the gall.
20 My soul still remembers
And sinks within me.
21 This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
22 Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
23 They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
24 “ The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,
“ Therefore I hope in Him!”
25 The LORD is good to those who wait for Him,
To the soul who seeks Him.
26 It is good that one should hope and wait quietly
For the salvation of the LORD.
27 It is good for a man to bear
The yoke in his youth.
28 Let him sit alone and keep silent,
Because God has laid it on him;
29 Let him put his mouth in the dust—
There may yet be hope.
30 Let him give his cheek to the one who strikes him,
And be full of reproach.
31 For the Lord will not cast off forever.
32 Though He causes grief,
Yet He will show compassion
According to the multitude of His mercies.
33 For He does not afflict willingly,
Nor grieve the children of men.
34 To crush under one’s feet
All the prisoners of the earth,
35 To turn aside the justice due a man
Before the face of the Most High,
36 Or subvert a man in his cause—
The Lord does not approve.
37 Who is he who speaks and it comes to pass,
When the Lord has not commanded it?
38 Is it not from the mouth of the Most High
That woe and well-being proceed?
39 Why should a living man complain,
A man for the punishment of his sins?
40 Let us search out and examine our ways,
And turn back to the LORD;
41 Let us lift our hearts and hands
To God in heaven.
42 We have transgressed and rebelled;
You have not pardoned.
43 You have covered Yourself with anger
And pursued us;
You have slain and not pitied.
44 You have covered Yourself with a cloud,
That prayer should not pass through.
45 You have made us an offscouring and refuse
In the midst of the peoples.
46 All our enemies
Have opened their mouths against us.
47 Fear and a snare have come upon us,
Desolation and destruction.
48 My eyes overflow with rivers of water
For the destruction of the daughter of my people.
49 My eyes flow and do not cease,
Without interruption,
50 Till the LORD from heaven
Looks down and sees.
51 My eyes bring suffering to my soul
Because of all the daughters of my city.
52 My enemies without cause
Hunted me down like a bird.
53 They silenced my life in the pit
And threw stones at me.
54 The waters flowed over my head;
I said, “I am cut off!”
55 I called on Your name, O LORD,
From the lowest pit.
56 You have heard my voice:
“ Do not hide Your ear
From my sighing, from my cry for help.”
57 You drew near on the day I called on You,
And said, “Do not fear!”
58 O Lord, You have pleaded the case for my soul;
You have redeemed my life.
59 O LORD, You have seen how I am wronged;
Judge my case.
60 You have seen all their vengeance,
All their schemes against me.
61 You have heard their reproach, O LORD,
All their schemes against me,
62 The lips of my enemies
And their whispering against me all the day.
63 Look at their sitting down and their rising up;
I am their taunting song.
64 Repay them, O LORD,
According to the work of their hands.
65 Give them a veiled heart;
Your curse be upon them!
66 In Your anger,
Pursue and destroy them
From under the heavens of the LORD.
[NKJV]

3 comments:

Becca M said...

Ack, this is what happens when I'm in a hurry... That's Chapter 3 of Lamentations btw. :P

Anonymous said...

Wow wow wow.... it's so great reading what you write here! I just have to slowly digest it over a few days, that's all. :)

Becca, you inspire me totally. I want to dig in & study hard subjects myself when I read what you think on. lylas

Becca M said...

Glad to hear that, gracefreelygiven. ;)

He inspires me, totally. ;) But it's great to find out that these words have such an effect on others.

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